Category: Interview

I am a girl (Part II)…

This time the sender softens a bit and replies “ Oh! I am sorry to disturb your sleep. Hello I am Ankita”

Unable to make head or tail of the above line? Read the previous post here..

Mr. BKP thought this couldn’t be a gal. If the other person had been a gal she wouldn’t have told me her name so easily. So he shot another message.

BKP – I don’t think you are a gal. Please tell me who is this.
Ank – (Furiously). Hey mister who ever are you. Mind your tongue. If you cant respect a girl than don’t talk.

Mr. BKP thought wow; it’s my lucky day, a new week and new gal in tow. Lets try to impress her.

BKP – Hello, I am BKP. I am sorry. I thought its one of my friends playing prank. How you got my number?
Ank. – Hello BKP. I sent that message by mistake to you. It was for my friend.
BKP – Oh. That’s ok. Tell me what do you do?
Ank – I am doing my final year BDS from CODS (College of Dental Science), manipal. I am basically from kolar.
BKP – you are from manipal? I am also at manipal. I am from Bangalore but I am presently working here.
Ank – Don’t lie a guy from Bangalore will come down to work in such a small place no way.

(She also shot a few lines of kannada to test if he actually from Bangalore)

BKP – Hey it doesn’t mean I am from Bangalore than I will know Kannada.
Ank – Don’t lie any respectful kannadigga will know Kannada. Tell me the truth.
BKP – I am from . I have done my engineering from Bangalore.
Ank – Ok. So you are an engineer? That’s good. Are there any engineering companies around this place?
BKP – yes. There is a software company called (Sorry. Company policies can’t name my company). It’s in Udupi. I work there.
Ank – so you are a software engineer. That’s good. My brother is in Intel, Bangalore.
BKP – No I am not a software engineer. I am a Quality Control Engineer. Actually, my brother is a PL in Honeywell, Bangalore (Another of his brother has come up) but I got placed through campus so had to come here.
Ank – Than jump to your bro’s company now.
BKP – I can’t cos I am a fresher. I joined this July only.
Ank – Ok. Bye. Class time.

The same day afternoon.

BKP – Good afternoon, Madam. Had your lunch?
Ank – No I will go now. Hey you just a testing engineer. I just talked to my brother and he told me quality control is nothing. And most of companies take freshers as trainee. How come you are promoted so fast?
BKP – It must be my capability that I have promoted.
Ank – I am impressed.
BKP – can you have lunch with me?
Ank – but you are in the company and manipal too far away from there.
BKP – No. I am at home. Today I have taken sick leave.
Ank – Why what happened?
BKP – Fever.
Ank – Than why don’t you take rest. We will have lunch some other day. Bye!!

The next day evening.

BKP – Hello. How are you?
Ank – I am fine. I should ask you this, How are you? Have you met any doctor?
BKP – I am down with viral fever.
Ank – than take rest and don’t forget to take medicine.
BKP – Thanks for being my friend, my only friend.
Ank – only friend? You don’t have friends? I mean People in the company.
BKP – they are there. But we just work in the company. There is no fun part involved.
Ank – what about your roommates?
BKP – They are my seniors. They treat me like a kid.

For most of you guys info. Mr. BKP is no kid and is never treated like kid.

Ank – oh that’s good. You have some one to look after you.
BKP – ya that’s there but than there is no friend na.
Ank – hey mummy came talk to you later.

The same night. After having a heavy dinner of 10 parota and half plate rice Mr. BKP messages.

BKP – hello. Had your dinner?
Ans – No. Mummy is preparing. I will have after that. What about you?
BKP – I told you na. My seniors treat me like a kid. They have brought me Milk and bread to have for dinner.
Ans – Oh that’s good. They are taking care of you.

On Friday anikta tells BKP that her mummy going back to native because her father is not keeping well.

What happened next read in next episode.

Tag of war

Chriz tagged me. The condition was simple to answer 18 question sincerely. Here are the questions and answers..

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.
A greater than sign on between my eyes. Supposedly given by brother when he hit me with a spoon.

2.What does your phone look like?

Siemens Euroset

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom??Nothing!! Except the water marks which seeps in during rains

4. What is your current desktop picture??A dark black screen.

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?
Yes I do. Marriages are fun and cheerfulness (Another meaning of gay)

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
Project. I don’t have any!

7 . What time were you born?
Evening @ 4.11

8. Are your parents still together?
Yes. Thank god.

9. Last person who made you cry?
The freaking movie star while watching the movie

10. What is your favorite perfume / cologne?
Brut.

11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?
Anything color will do till they are there. Cos I don’t have any. (Weak eyes and balding head)

12. What are you listening to??Ranting of the PL in the next cubicle

13. Do you get scared of the dark??If the person with me in the room is a scary.

14. Do you like pain killers??Yes if they are available at the right time for the right pain (Including heart break).

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out??Online I have asked so many gals to come out and meet me and all of them have refused?

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?.
Food

17. Who was the last person you made you mad?
No one. I make people mad

18. Who was the last person who made you smile?
A mad person always smiles. Even my photos smile!!

Logical and Legal

Loved the guts of this kid!!

This one is also a forward!!

After having failed his exam in “Logistics and Organization”, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor: “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student: “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an “A” for the exam. “

Professor: “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.”

Modesty In victory!

If you are an English professor please let me know the meaning of the title. All I know that this was my house motto. Not of the house I live in but the houses at school in which they divide the students into. You belong to blue house or yellow house. The system has changed now I asked a kid which house he is in blue or red (or some other color) and he said, “ No I am not in any of those houses. I am ivory House and my best friend is in mint house. And my house motto is ‘Break away’. And my best friend house motto is ‘ever fresh’” It reminded me of my house motto and when I learnt the meaning of that.

I: Madam what does my house motto means?
Madam: Stupid you don’t know that!!
I: no ma’am.
Madam: it means “one must stay modest even when one wins.”
I: Thank you ma’am

I remained in MODEst in all my victories. Whenever I won something I changed my mode from sad to happy but when it comes to treat it changes from happy to angry so that no one asks me for a treat. Last time I became modest was when I my project guide had a meeting with me.

Guide: we have called this meating to notify you that the product you are working on is to be finished before time.
Me: how much before?
Guide: say 5 days from now
Me: WTF! It’s till one month before deadline
Guide: That’s why I have called this meating . No go and start slogging the meat of the ass.

After that I got the meaning of meatings. It’s called to tell an individual how he/ she will be meated (butchered). I was working in this company to save myself from getting skinned. So I shot a mail to my supervisor

After today’s meeting I am ready to
work and give my best and not
resign soon. I will be working
18 – 20 hours per day not just
8 hours as was told, when I joined.
I wouldn’t be asking for any
Salary hikes till it’s given, I wouldn’t
ask for any change of designation and
be working for company’s good future.
It’s foolish of people who say
it’s impossible to finish on time. I
think the job is really small and I don’t
need of lots of resources to finish the job

Please read the above letter again but just the odd line starting from after today’s…

VOTM @ U2B.in Interview!!

Few days after winning the award of the VOTM @ u2b.in i got a call from chief editor for an interview. I said i will see as i am busy. But while putting down the phone i said ( habitually) “See ya later” and he landed up in at my place the same evening. All was done he took an interview but again he made the mistake of Hear Amritsar, Go Bihar. (misinterpreting me and than writing up thing that was not meant)

the part written wrong is in italics and the correction is in the( brackets following it )

Q1. Sir it is all over the net that you have been awarded ‘VOTM’ title by U2B.in… your reaction?
Well i am really happy to know that I have been chosen for this pretigious award. I had this feeling some where that I am the only one in the race. I would like to thank my dear collegue/ Maid and security guard to give a supporting hand (and leg) while i used to read http://www.u2b.in. Also, I would like to thank my Mom and Dad for wasting their money and time to educate me so that I can visit U2B.in everyday and comprehend the so called content that is posted there.

Q2. VOTM is a very prestigious title…How did your family react when they got this news.?
My father went into coma for the 1st 17 minutes(his doctors have instructed me never-ever I should mention anything about U2B.in to him).

My mom was at the beauty parlour when she got the news… I was told that somehow she started behaving like Nana Patekar… she slapped her self a few times.. banged her head against the wall( banged the beauticians head agaisnt the mirror)…kicked the beautician a few times (For not able to make my mom look like aishwarya).

My dog has already bitten 27people. It seems he wanted to win the race for number of hits. Mine being 27 to u2b.in.
My cook has stopped cooking and has taken a resolution That till he dosent make Bheja Fry ( “without bheja” fry of the chairman, as he is yet to have some brains) of the Chairman of U2b.in he wont cook.

Q3. U2B.in has spent some huge resources to publicize this VOTM event… your comments?
Stop publicizing.( Keep it up) It is a serious waste (proper use) of resource. I have got a better option for you. Give me the award every month.( and keep publicizing my victory) I have no qualm of receiving the award. However, it will be U2B.in’s responsibility to communicate this news to my parents (dog, maid and cook) everytime I get the award.

Q4. What would be your advice to the Chairman of U2B.in ?
Keep up the great work. I love the site so much that I have planned to launch a service called Crapd.in (make sure you shut down the site before my site comes up)

Q5. The official photographers of U2B.in were brutally kicked in the stomach by your maid and securtity men… Why did they behave so violently ? How did you control the situation ?
It seems that you have not read todays news paper. I have already asked for an apology and have issued a statement saying I was not aware of this situation.

It seems that my maid and security guard were busy watching abhi ash marriage footage and were really worked after seeing Amar Singhji running after Jaya Aunty.

I am exteremly sorry for my maid, cook and securities activities…to make good, I would like to give the exclusive online rights to host the wedding site of my dear and near “Komalangini sukumari sakhhu BAI Gayekwad” and “Bir
Suraj Samsher Jung BAHADUR Thapa” ( There pet/ Household names has been put in caps). Infact I want the chairman to perform the Kanyadaan for the bride.

Q6. The buzz is in the air that, the VOTM for the next quarter is already decided and again it is YOU… Are you overjoyed ?
Well I dont want to show off and tell the world what a great personality I am. I am very happy with what I have…though I have already won thhis prestigious title and it was a really tough competition. ( BTW, I
was told that I was the only participant). I think only time will tell who is the winner for the next quater. Let us wait and watch…I will surely love to win this title…(You think I am a f*&#% moron to visit this F&^@$% site everyday and not win?)

Q7. What do you have to tell the netizens..?
Its a very good question. Ahem… Hmm.. welll.. arrrr…. I would say …… hmmmm.. welllll….. (after some head tapping and foot banging) WTF do you mean by Netizen? Who is that ??