Note: This post is nothing to do with the book “Delhi” by the author Khuswant Singh  but may refer to both.

Just now I have reached home from a short trip to Delhi! By short it means that i was there for the weekend. Something in tune to a weekend getaway but the trip was more of “Getting In”

The start from Bangalore was both good and bad. Just for the record I left Bangalore on Friday, 20th Of November. Reasons the start was Good

The Goods:

1. My manager was absent on the day. and i was able to leave early

2. I got the airport shuttle minutes before it left.

3. My flight was rescheduled to 7:10 pm (I had a 8:55pm flight)

The Bads:

1. The flight took off half an hour late

2. my friend who was supposed to pick me up at Delhi was also late by half an hour

The Ugly:

1. The reading light was not working in the flight i was travelling

2. The safety jacket for the seat in front of me was not attached to seat and was roaming all through the plane.

Now a quick rundown of my itinerary.

Day 1: Friday

1. 7:10 Leave Bangalore

2. 10:30 Reach Delhi

3. 11:45 Reach my friends home @ gurgaon

4. 11:47 Open a bottle of whiskey and start drinking

Day 2: Saturday

1. Time Unknown: Go to bed after the bottle was empty, our belly full and mind screwed

2. 10:00 am – wake up, get ready

3. 01:00 pm – go and meet one of my online friends @ Gurgaon Central (Yeah i do meet my virtual friends. so next time you are Bangalore and need some one for drink you know who to call )

4. 05:00 pm: Back at friend’s palace. Have couple of pegs and get ready to attend one of my school mates marriage (yeah this was the reason i was Delhi.

5. 07:00 pm: Reach the venue for marriage just to find out the time on the invitation was written in IST. ( IST means that leave the house half an hour after the time mentioned on the invitation)

6. 07:10 pm: Meet with some of my other school mate who were to attend the same wedding.

7. 07:11 pm: Find a bar and order some beer

8. 10:00 pm: has someone mentioned shaddi (marriage).

9. 10:10 pm: order the last round and leave for the marriage venue

10. 10:45 pm: reach the venue to find out the marriage is over. and reception is on

11. 10:46 pm: lets have dinner than we will meet the groom.

12. 11:00 pm: meet the groom. (it was a muslim wedding so we had to wait to meet our bhabhi. They have this tradition that the bride and groom cant see each other till the marriage ceremony is officially over)

Day 3: Sunday

1. 12:15 am: After 3 rounds of deserts and half pack of cigarettes we (including the groom) finally get to meet the bride.

2. 12:30 am: wish the friend and wife happy marriage life and leave for gurgaon

3. 01:15 am: reach my friend’s place to find him with another bottle.

4. 02:30 am: Sleep.

5. 07:00 am: wake and get ready

6. 08:30 am: Reach the venue for IIFT entrance test

7. 12:00 pm: finish the exam and head back to friends palace @ gurgaon

8. 01:00 pm: call up another school friend and decide to meet her at metropolitan mall @ gurgaon

9. 02:00 pm: meet this friend over lunch.

10. 05:00 pm: back to my friend’s place and pack to leave for Bangalore.

11. 08:10 pm: board the flight for Bangalore

Those who have read the above itinerary. give your self a pat on the back (for achieving this milestone) and kick on the ass (for wasting your time). I am sure your jobless self will some questions coming up. So here is a quick faq

• Why there are no names in the whole of the post?

• Do you really wish to know names like tom (not the cat/dog), dick (not the body part) and hairy (nothing related hairs other than the ones on the head).

• Why are the airlines name missing?

• Here is the airline name. For onward it was a jetlite (formally Sahara) flight i was booked in. which was later changed to jet connect. for return it was Air-India (formally Indian Airlines)

• What was the main reason for going to Delhi?

• To drink what else? Rest were just lies created round this truth. I had changed my IIFT exam center from Bangalore to Delhi

• How was the trip?

• Pleasing and left me wanting for more.

Till next time. Where i compare Jet Connect with Air India and pitch BIA (Bangalore International Airport) VS  IGIA (Indira Gandhi International Airport) Terminal 1A.

• April 26, 2010 -- Stalker or Just Anonymous People? (2)
• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• March 7, 2010 -- What a Month!! (7)

When I say marriage I mean the unity of two person in which they become one and share their sorrows, joy and BLAH BLAH… what the heck have I lost all my funny bone and writing about something so dumb. Let’s start again.

I know of a Guy let us call him Mr. P. Our dear Mr. P comes from an orthodox Brahmin (priest) family. One fine day he falls in love with this gal who is smart, intelligent, beautiful and homely. In short girl next door. But there was is a problem. The gal is from some other cast other than Mr. P. So what will Mr. P do? You guys think of an answers cos even Mr. P Doesn’t know what to do?

There is another friend of mine who lets call her Mr. G. She hated the words love and marriage just like bagon spray hates cockroaches. Now I hear that she is engaged and even carries reliance mobile. The latest news is that there is contest running, “if anyone who sees her not talking on phone will be awarded five minutes of talk time.” Good luck to contestant and warm greeting to Miss G.

One fine Sunday I was shopping for pizza ingredient at the local store. (Yeah me too is hit by recession and I know how to make pizza). I found this unique specie called Father(dad, papa whatever you choose to call him). He was with two of his kids and this is the part of the conversation I overheard.

Kid1: papa can I have this drink?

Father: No.

Kid: Please Papa, I will behave.

(Father shows them an angry eye.)

Kid1 (Now Afraid): Papa I don’t want this. But please let me stay with you.

Kid2 (Also Afraid): I too am sorry papa. Please allow me to come with you in the car.

The father suddenly looks at me.

Father (To me): Hope you don’t have kids they can surely make your worst nightmare come alive.

• April 26, 2010 -- Stalker or Just Anonymous People? (2)
• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• March 7, 2010 -- What a Month!! (7)

If you’re single and ready to mingle, what according to you are the things that you will look for in your future partner, which you think are essential to make the relationship last till death do you part?

If you’re married or in a relationship, what are the things you cherish most in your partner?

This question made me think. I am single, smart, good looking (fat and bald don’t count as ugly) therefore she should have all these qualities. Wait a sec who am I kidding? Are looks the only thing that I will go and search for in my future life partner. So what all qualities she must have that will make me go back to her ever after 50 years of being together? As I was thinking another thought came to my mind. Here I am sitting alone getting older and wiser. Wiser not just in terms of worldly matters but also in relationship. If you people are willing to consider 2 and half long distance relationship.

Let me tell you about this two and half funda before we go ahead. The half happened because she never came to know about me or let’s say I never had the courage to confront her of my love. The other two knew I was there waiting for them. And before you say I was cheating on them than let me tell you they had came into my life at different times. The first one came at 9AM and second one at 4PM. I used to see them daily. Both of them were in same college one was in morning college and other in evening. So I always had the maximum time to myself. And what could be a better place to stalk girls other than college.

Jokes apart, those want to know more about me read this the older posts on this blog. Back to the question mentioned above. I always wanted a person who is ready to take care of a brat and naughty kid. One who can tell me all her secrets and find the same from me. Share everything with me including her sorrows. There shouldn’t be any lies between us. No matter what may come we should be ready to accept each other’s demand no matter how silly. If she can take care of the first part that will be more than enough.

• April 26, 2010 -- Stalker or Just Anonymous People? (2)
• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• March 7, 2010 -- What a Month!! (7)

Well the good news was a surprise for me. The reasons can be anything ranging from My ignorance, my non-commitment towards personal life or my boring self. No i am not getting married (still !). My sister gave birth to a baby boy on the same day i was born. that makes a Mamu (not the one used for policeman or fools) but a real mama. It called for double celebrations. For those who have not sent the money as birthday gift go ahead and send them. I know for sure of 3 (hopefully single) ladies who want to come and see my nephew. but my nephew has just told me that mama i will only meet mami. and till you don’t get married i will meet just your girl friends. So you ladies out there you must have got the drift .

jokes apart i will try to put the pic as soon as possible.

• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• January 1, 2010 -- Puzzle (1)
• July 16, 2009 -- Best Laid Plans. (2)

A bit lengthy, but a good read.

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, and your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

• April 26, 2010 -- Stalker or Just Anonymous People? (2)
• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• March 7, 2010 -- What a Month!! (7)

But the thing is after reading one full para on spelling and stuff and you are not able to decipher the post name than please download the song the listen to it.

No i am not at all doing any promos for Anurag Kashyap’s Upcoming film Ded. D which is claimed to me made as modern version of Devdas. I wish to ask mr Anurag Kashyap “Why?” had we not enough of these remakes that you doing a mordern remake of the movie. But than on the other hand i think if shahrukh khan can do it than why not abhay deol. (Mind you i have heard guys calling him cute. and it wasn’t me)

It seems that the title of the post has become more important than the post it self. Just look at it 3 paras over and we are yet to get out of the post title and why such a title. the reason being I never thought that i am an emotional guy and i will ever be.

But of late i have shown all the emotions i can think of.

1. Funny – Some of my posts are a testimonial to it.
2. Bore – Read point one
3. Sad – After i saw my CAT score just now.  Its 73.29 Percentile.
4. Happy – I never attended any coaching classes and saved 20 thousand rupees
5. Anger – The last post on SMAM was written because i was angry (I dont know how it turned out to be happy post)
6. Depression – when i missed her

Just let me know of any other emosion and i will add them too. Now the time for our super hit song. BTW this song has got what we will a Brass Band beat. For the unknown the brass band is the band which mostly plays at marriage.

Download It from here

• April 26, 2010 -- Stalker or Just Anonymous People? (2)
• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• March 7, 2010 -- What a Month!! (7)

Noun

infidelity (plural infidelities)

1. unfaithfulness in marriage or other moral obligation
2. lack of religious belief

• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• January 1, 2010 -- Puzzle (1)
• July 16, 2009 -- Best Laid Plans. (2)

For those who are thinking why such an apologetic post? than it the aftermath of Ranbir Kapoor starrer “Bachna aie Haseeno.”  Working for Game Development Division of Microsoft and takes off on a lonnnnnnnnnnnggggg leave of 6 month, just out of guilt feeling of all his mistakes in his life. the hearts he broke and to ask for forgiveness from the gals. Man! this guy has got guts!! Nah not because he is out there and playing i am best but 6 months of leave without telling any one. If microsoft is allowing long weekend of that sort than please refer me there. I have worked on all the OS and once upon a time worked on a Game Porting. (Yeah i am bragging).

The weekend that went by had loads of fun and we were out to watch the movie Bachna aie Haseeno. No comment on the story, Movie, direction, actors. Just a quick review. (My First)

Bachna Aie haseeno start out with the son dancing to the tunes of his father. Its in literal terms the title song is filmed on father Rishi Kapoor in the movie “Hum Kisi Se Kam Nahin.” Than start a line of comedy and fun filled part of the life ranbir kapoor (Raj). He meets 3 gals @ various stages of his life. Just to meet them again. Watch the movie to know what the above line means. The movie full of comedy and boring scenes. some places you feel oh yeah that was the way i used to think at that phase of my life.

My advice Go with an open mind without any pre thoughts about the movie and you will surely love it. All in all its and out and out Raj Shree Production “Romantic Comedy.”

• June 2, 2010 -- Lies, Lies and More Lies (6)
• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• March 17, 2010 -- Just Like that (20)

• April 26, 2010 -- Stalker or Just Anonymous People? (2)
• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• March 7, 2010 -- What a Month!! (7)

Husband wakes up with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

“Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!”

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is already at the table, eating. He asks, “Son, what happened last night?”
His son says, “Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door”. Confused, the man asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!”

His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, “LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!”

*Moral*
Self-induced hangover – $ 400.00
Broken crockery – $ 800.00
Breakfast – $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – “*PRICELESS *”

There are truly some things that both money and Master-card can’t buy.

• April 26, 2010 -- Stalker or Just Anonymous People? (2)
• April 14, 2010 -- Something Serious Called Life (0)
• March 7, 2010 -- What a Month!! (7)