Am I the one?

This is to officially announce that I am in search of a new job :). I know its so called recession but Software are still getting built and New Operating System (OS) is getting release. BTW if you don’t know what is an OS? A simple answer will be window Xp and Vista are examples of OS.

I just had a thought am I the one who will actually come to know “How does it feel to be jobless at all the time of recession?” I lost my first job when recession was a newly-coined term for the Indians. The Indian share market were going strong, and rumors of US crisis were a thing we people used to joke about and Bang!! came the termination letter. When my friends and family asked what happened i told them i am the one of the first indian victim of recession.

It was luck that I landed up in my present company just days before of Great Market Crash of January 2008. Within a year the real recession kicked into effect and my company planned to send 10% of its work force of Forced Leave. It was my bad luck that i was one among those 10%.

Now i have got a real serious problem in front of me. Its not Money Money is a problem but not as serious as the one i am facing now. And that is . What will i say to people when they will ask me why i thrown?

Anonymous B’day Post

Yeah it’s an Anonymous Happy Birthday Post. And before you people jump on me and say “Hey we know who you are!” My reply would be you dont know for whom i am writing this post :). Gotcha!!

I started this post with one person in mind but all of sudden there is another on lurking behind the bush (Who the hell know what does that mean?) So first person first. I met this person some 4-5years after i met the second person I thought about. So in truth the first one on thought is the second in real and second in thought is first in real life.  (Go figure the first and second relationship.)  This person celebrated birthday one 1st of feb this year  and incidentily for last every of life.  and it was like this that I was dead drunk by 12 at night so i called and wished B’day to the Answering Machine. So may be this post will help you to know that i never forgot your b’day.

And now the second one. This person had me thinking the first time i knew of her birthday. Its 14th Feb. What would her Boy Friend calling her on 14 will say first about?

  • Love “I Love You”
  • Valentine “Will you be my Valentine”
  • B’day Wish  “Many Happy Returns of the day”
  • Combined   “I love Valentine’s Birth to You”

Dont get me wrong here but cant help thinking. 😉 But its not my thoughts but the wishes which are to be sent before i forget them.  I can always call her and wish but I am not sure that I will be sober on 14th Feb. And its not because I have date or valentine but its Saturday and I have Half Bottel of bacardi Left with me.

BTW if any of you are a Cute,(I still love the cute ones) and Single (by single i mean who dosn’t have a date)  lady want to go out with me you can call me. My contact details are on my about me page.

Dear Manager

I, on behalf of all my fellow software engineers, want to tell my dear PM the following points to remember. Hope they will understand. Hail Coding. Powered by ctrl+c, Driven By ctrl+v

1.  Never give me work in the morning.   Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.  The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2.  If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going.  That helps.  Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

3.  Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going.  It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4.  If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me.  I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5.  If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is priority.  I am psychic.

6.  Do your best to keep me late.  I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.  I have no life beyond work.

7.  If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret.  If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8.  If you don’t like my work, tell everyone.  I like my name to be popular in conversations.  I was born to be whipped.

9.  If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.  No use confusing me with useful information.

10.  Never introduce me to the people you’re with.  I have no right to know anything.  In the corporate food chain, I am plankton.  When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11.  Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers’ hell.

12.  Tell me all your little problems.   No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate.  I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13.  Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating   with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway.

Saw this at some website and thought should share with all you guys :)