Recession Effect

I got this as a forward. Its really great kudos to the mind. Want similar laugh see this post too.

Dear Staff,

Due to the current financial situation caused by worldwide slowdown of economy since end of 2007, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 30 plus years of age on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retiring Appropriate People Early). People selected for RAPE can also apply to management for eligibility in SHAFT scheme (Special Help, After Forced Termination). People who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Systematic Coursing Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

People who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously people who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by management.

People left and staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives to its employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you may require and handle.

Yours Sincerely,

The Management

Waiting for the call..

NOTE: This is a personal post for only one person. If you cant make head and tell of this post please dont ask me what is this all about. Because i myself dont know why i have written this post.

I am writing it to tell you that its more than six months that i had a chat with you, I am still waiting for your call when you will call me and say “Hiiiiiiii” (Yeah that used to be really long HI and full of happiness.) “Aap Kaise ho.”  Yeah those were the line i heard so many times. Buts its more than an year that i have not your bubbly cheery voice.

I do remember last time we had a chat and it was a short one at 4AM my time and you were too drunk to  remember that! BTW I have been trying to find you, your contact address or any thing that will let me know where are you? what you are doing? and above of all How are you? And in that persuit i did a little search and came to know that you have changed town from Et*****ke to Ca****y (I am hiding the minor details just for the sake of privacy :)) but thats the only detail i have. I would be needing some thing where i can contact you. You can mail call or send a message on my mobile from BTW if you dont have a mail ID than you can still use my mail id the password is the same :).

P.S. I still have your voice recording of wo din yad hai wo palchin yaad hai 🙁

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For those who have read/heard this sher umpteenth time

      Dil-e-nadan tujhe hua kya hai
     aakhir is dard ki dawa kya hai
Than let me present you the rest of the Gazal and meaning (Hopefully correct 🙂 )
    Dil-e-nadan tujhe hua kya hai
     akhir is dard ki dawa kya hai
O Stupid Heart what has happened to you. What’s the medicine for this pain

hamko unse wafa ki hai ummeed
      jo nahen jaante wafa kya hai
I have hope for love from the person don’t know what is love.
      Dil-e-nadan tujhe hua kya hai
      akhir is dard ki dawa kya hai
O Stupid Heart what has happened to you. What’s the medicine for this pain
      ham hain mushtaaq aur woh bezaar
      ya ilaahee! yeh maajra kya hai
I am interested and they are displeasd, O lord what is this story
    jab ki tujh bin nahen koi maujood
      fir ye hangama, ‘ei Khuda! kya hai
There is no one except you, then why is this commotion my god.

      jaan tum par nisar karta hoon
      main nahi janata duaa kya hai
I will give my life for you. ‘Cos I don’t know what is a prayer.

This is to formally announce that I have bought a MP4 Player. At last. The Google(yeah i call search and google in the same breath) was on for last 2 years for a durable yet cost efficient. I planned to buy one of the guys from Transcend stable or SanDisk. But after reading the reviews the sounded like more of a mediocre than a full fledged or great PMP. Then I went for the guys who revolutionized the product Apple Computers. But they were too costly. So the last option was to choose a product which was cost effective yet great. Thus came 3 players Phillips, Samsung and Creative. Out of which Samsung is not available in India. I was searching for a minimum of 2 GB video capable PMP. But when I saw the Creative Zen 4 GB it was much better than the others. Some of the online reviews said its just a little below the famed iPod Nano. So I went ahead and bought from the product from Though I am yet to get the product in my hands hope that the product is as good as the reviews say. To be on the safer side I have even bought a pair of Creative Ep-630 earphones to go with the product.

The song above is one of the songs I am planning to listen . Thus this post. 🙂

Going Offline

I wont be available for next few days but this site will be available. I am off to my native if you any one wants to contect me just call me or leave a SMS on my number. Please if you planning to mail or ping me on messenger. I wont be able to reply as i will away from the internet. So see you guy till than

Of Writers and Readers

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Disclaimer: The opinion on the authors is my own and if you differ from my views. Please keep them to yourself. I won’t change them.

For past few months I on a reading spree thanks to I have been reading all the fictions that I can put my hands on. Just for the record I have bought 24 odd books including famous guys like Khuswant singh, Anita nair and New names like Ravi Subramanian,  Advaita Kala, Amitabha Bagchi etc and some international authors such as Jeffery Archer, Simon Heller and Robert Ludlum.

For those who are thinking I spend lots on books than read the first line again, I thanked India plaza. The reason for it is that they gave me gift coupons worth rs. 3000+ Before you guys guys say “WHAT THE F**K?”  There was a catch that I had to spend the whole amount on books and (in most cases) have to pitch in the same amount from my side. So that was it. I bought books and more books and more books. Its more than 2-month-old story and I have read some 10 books of the lot.

This post is nothing to brag about my reading, buying power. But it’s a simple comparison between the style of writing of different authors and the way they bond with the reader. I have planned to divide them in two leagues old and new. and another league as Indian and international.

First if we take the Old guys and new guys.

The old guys still exist because we love there writing style and they have made a mark of themselves. They have got their genre right. Among the one of the older generation I like are Anurag Mathur (the inscrutable american), Jeffery Archer (Read his most of books), Robert Ludlum (Another great writer, the Bourne series), Agatha Christi (Too slow paced).

Among the new one some used the tried and tasted formula of writing from the first person view (same style as the of chetan bhagat). And some went for a style, which I am yet to find out. Some of them are really good and some really HUH!!. The good ones are Advaita Kala (Almost Single), Sam Bourne, Xiaolu Guo (A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary For Lovers)

Coming to International and Desi authors.

I wont say that I love all the international writers. For instance I never liked Frederick Forsyth. For the simple reason that his books are too damn slow paced. As far as the international authors are concerned I started with Sidney Sheldon, went to Danielle steel (yeah I have read her too), and than found the genre I loved the most and ditched both of them to jump to the league of archer, Ludlum, follet, Alistair MacLean. Yeah I am more of a thriller kind of guy. But I have read M&B’s, Erich Segal,

Now the HUM bhartiya and stuff. Another for the record statement “I have read very few Indian authors.  Among them very few those famous kind.” And those whom I have read only a few were able to leave an impression on me. The author whom I liked the best has never written in English. He is Munshi Premchand. I have read his short stories compiled in 8 volumes of mansarovar. As far as other writer goes some are good, some bad, and some worst but none great. I have read Indian M&B, Danielle Steel in form of Shobaa De and Khuswant Singh.

Than it was the banker turned writer who just write for the sake of writing. Chentan bhagat’s first book 5 point someone left a mark. Rest were just books. In recent times I have heard of the Ravi Subramanian and his book “If god was a banker.” and if you have read the book I will say I am sorry for you. The book is just a piece of SHIT. Read Anita Nair’s satyr on the subway and it turns out that she was too lost in the book and forgot to write a true plot. 🙁

For rest of the authors I am yet to read them 🙂