Signs You’re No Longer in College…

Got it from the internet. 

— You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close.

— Your potted plants stay alive.

— You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill.

— Your friends’ hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces.

— You attend parties that the police don’t raid.

— You’re not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking.

— You refer to college students as “those kids.”

— You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer.

— You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza.

— At 6 a.m., you’re putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out.

— Naps are no longer weekday options.

— Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy.

— Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips.

— Wass’up Dude is replace with hello Mr. XYZ

God! Why Me?

Gotcha. 🙂

but as i promised in my last post here comes the “HAPPY POST!!”

So why this topic. Simple to get your attention. I asked this question when i was on the verge of getting terminated (not life but job). But then came this new mail like a “knight in Armour coming for the rescue of damsel in distress.” The word etched in gold, written in the ancient language of HRism. If you don’t know the language than you are in either of the two category. You were never employed or You are a member of the secret society of HR. So the mail brought the news of a potential “Job Opportunity.” and it also said that if i am not interested than i should forward it to my friends.

Thus started the journey from being a prospect employee to a indispensable asset. An interview was “scheduled.” which brings me to a question which i always ask my self  “Interview is derived from Inter + View. INTER means between two or more people or things and VIEW means to see. Combined it  gives the Meaning as two or more people seeing each other. But when we go for an interview its just the other guy asking questions?” Some times this so called process is also called “Technical discussion.” Those who are good at this old and mystic language of HRism please do let me know the answer.

On the appointed day I was there in the office for technical interview and there comes a fat ugly looking  guy and says “Santosh? Come!” No introduction as who he is or what he does. Shoots some question and leaves.  Lets not blame this fellow.  He is programmed to work like a machine. Exactly 9 hours a day (8 hours work plus one hour of lunch). Never had a GF, Married to a women, Has a car but takes company cab, Smiles at his junior when he is about to screw them and seniors when he know he is screwed. And thinks that the Company HR is the most beautiful person the world. These type of species are called Manager. Refer my this post for more info on them.

Than comes guys who calls himself HR head. But i don’t believe him. Because HR is a secret society and the person standing in front of me is MALE. which cant be possible! but he said you are hired Welcome to <BEEP> <BEEP>. Yeah i am being secretive because there is another society called the-angry-and-screw-you-type-of-managers-and-Company-Representatives. Who don’t like the employees to write about company.

All in all i am Hired and working again. Those asking for  party can come down to Bangalore and we will go some place nice for a drink and than you can pay the bill and drop me home.

P.S.-> if you can’t understand the above post or some of the words than please contact someone who is employed or get hold of a HR (if you can find one do let me know)

Single Again

This is to officially announce that the Guest Writer Deepa has been removed from the blog.  That includes her post and her user – id. Before you guys jump to any funny conclusion let me tell you it was a well thought decision, which was,  really hard on my part.

BTW next post will be happy one. I promise. 🙂

Winner all the way

This post is dedicated to the loser, like me, all round the globe. Its just to show them that they can win if they try really hard. I have been given my first blogging award by Arshat Editor-in-Chief TPI. 

blogaward

If you cant read this than for your reference it reads “FUCKING FABULOUS BLOG” It means my BLOG is FUCKING its reader FABULOUSLY. 

After watching the Oscars live I wanted to give a long speech but the rules of the awards asked me do something else. 

  •  Put the image on your blog
  •  List 10 truths about yourself
  •  Give the award to 5 other people
  •  Provide meaningful quotation

The image is already here.  So its one down and before i give it some more people this award let me list some Ugly lies bout me. Why lies? cos truth is nothing but white lie.

Here we go

  1. I am at present Masquerading as one of the person I thought that I am done with.  I re-registered this person’s  mail id which was deleted 
  2. I had two so called GF’s and presently both of them don’t even care that I exist let alone alive. Incidently both of them are out of india at present one in England with Hubby and second in Canada.
  3. The last time I traveled 2nd class sleeper in train I had to pay fine for not having a valid ticket. 
  4. My Present obssesion is tele series F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I am downloading them like crazy
  5. During a company interview I was asked “why i got less marks in engineering and 12?” I told “I never got less marks I got more marks during my 10th Exams!” Belive it or not i was selected.
  6. I saw my first porn when I was in class 8. It was one of the advantages of going a boarding school. and yeah the room had some 30+ guys watching the movie with me.
  7. My fav teacher during school days was the librarian because she never said anything when I bunked class. Not library classes but the regular classes and went to hide (hang) out in library.
  8.  I used to write a diary called “Myself.” It was during my school days,  when i was going through some rough patches. Six year down the line I still have that notebook. Its just one note book but its was my feeling for myself. 
  9. At one time I was watch freak and I changed them at of the rate of one per year. Then came mobile phone and they had the same life time. At present its my jobs which I am changing more or less at 1 per year. 
  10.  I got my first check when I did a voluteering work for a Theater Festival. It was of Rs1500. In return i lost 1 months of colleges and one full internal exams. 

Note to Arshat I hope that I was able to keep up your testerone level high. because we engineer get High on either Words or Wine 🙂

Now come the hardest part giving away to people. There are loads of them but 

I will gove two quotes instead of one. 

If two past lovers remain friends, it’s either they are still in love.. or they never were…  – Unknown

 

Love is touch, A kiss, a glance that can make any day feel like the first day of spring..  –Unknown

P.S. ->I got these quote during my school days and I love them so much that I still remember them.

Ode to nice guys

Found this post on alok’s blog 

A bit lengthy, but a good read.

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, and your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.