Modesty In victory!

If you are an English professor please let me know the meaning of the title. All I know that this was my house motto. Not of the house I live in but the houses at school in which they divide the students into. You belong to blue house or yellow house. The system has changed now I asked a kid which house he is in blue or red (or some other color) and he said, “ No I am not in any of those houses. I am ivory House and my best friend is in mint house. And my house motto is ‘Break away’. And my best friend house motto is ‘ever fresh’” It reminded me of my house motto and when I learnt the meaning of that.

I: Madam what does my house motto means?
Madam: Stupid you don’t know that!!
I: no ma’am.
Madam: it means “one must stay modest even when one wins.”
I: Thank you ma’am

I remained in MODEst in all my victories. Whenever I won something I changed my mode from sad to happy but when it comes to treat it changes from happy to angry so that no one asks me for a treat. Last time I became modest was when I my project guide had a meeting with me.

Guide: we have called this meating to notify you that the product you are working on is to be finished before time.
Me: how much before?
Guide: say 5 days from now
Me: WTF! It’s till one month before deadline
Guide: That’s why I have called this meating . No go and start slogging the meat of the ass.

After that I got the meaning of meatings. It’s called to tell an individual how he/ she will be meated (butchered). I was working in this company to save myself from getting skinned. So I shot a mail to my supervisor

After today’s meeting I am ready to
work and give my best and not
resign soon. I will be working
18 – 20 hours per day not just
8 hours as was told, when I joined.
I wouldn’t be asking for any
Salary hikes till it’s given, I wouldn’t
ask for any change of designation and
be working for company’s good future.
It’s foolish of people who say
it’s impossible to finish on time. I
think the job is really small and I don’t
need of lots of resources to finish the job

Please read the above letter again but just the odd line starting from after today’s…

Better late than never

“I’ve been on a calendar but I have never been on time”
Marilyn Monroe

I used to be a writer for a small newspaper/ magazine group in India. They used to publish Bi-weekly (does it mean once in 2 week or twice a week) magazine. For which I was a permanent writer. Writers for the mag had to submit their “Creations” (the final draft) on or before first and third Wednesday of every month. When I was new the article were sent faster than the speed of their printing machines. My ed asked me to slow down and I got the speed of dot matrix printer. The editor was already tearing off his hair when I slowed down a little more and the last article I sent it was typed on a typewriter with one finger.

I being me never ever let my performance get hampered even after editors death threats

Excerpts of the meeting with the editor

Me- hello ed.
Ed- Huh! Who you?
Me- I am me.
Ed- who you?
Me- I came here to talk about my bi-weekly article.
Ed- who article?
Me- the magazine article

Now he is back in his sense

Ed- get out of my office this minute and don’t come back till you have the article ready.
Me- but this is just second Tuesday of the month.
Ed- I want the article that was supposed to be on my desk by first Wednesday
Me- ahh. That article. I will send it tomorrow
Ed- If I don’t get that article tomorrow SOMEONE WILL BE DEAD!
Me- who ed?
Ed- me!
Me- ok ed bye.
Ed- who you?

The editor was lost again.

I shot a mail to the editor telling him bout the delay. Here is the mail.

Hey its Hump day. Cheer up buddy. Its great that you have about to pass the weeks hump. The peak is passed. Now its all downhill so I am not planning to give you any more problems. As far as my article is considered, you can send the mag for a proof check I will send back my article directly on day of printing.

Enjoy the day!!
Hump Day

seriously serious!!

For last few days I tried to become as philosophical as much as I can get. There are reasons for everything. The reason of my being serious was something really serious. Here it goes.

I am a superstitious human being. My classmate during my school days told me that if I see a dream early in the morning, the dream would come true. I never believed them because I always saw a dream that it was holyday in my school. I even took colors to celebrate but my teachers beat me up black and blue. Than my friends told me only the bad dreams that come true.

A few days back I have been getting up after seeing one bad dream. The dreams are so threatening that I wake startled. The height of repetitiveness is so much that I hear the same background music.

The dream → I am sitting on my office chair for more than 3 hours now. 3 hours doing something which is the dream of every software engineer. All of them know that now all the torture of the engineering days is being paid back in ten folds. I am doing what I always wanted to do. I asked one of my friends “Hey you know that so and so guy is joining my company” and he scraped back saying “old news, dude!! Tell me something new!!” I have been exchanging events and gossips with my friend who is another company via the most reliable agent called Orkut! The tag line of orkut, “who do you know!” fascinated me so much that today I have 1386 friends.
Welcome to the world of scraping and orkuting.

After those 3 hours of non-stop orkuting I get a call from the system admin telling me to stop scraping else “We will SCRAPE you out!! From than on Orkut is blocked in my company. I am sitting perspiring in the AC thinking “Kya hoga Nimmo ka (I mean mera)” will the sys admin be calling up my supervisor and telling him about my mischief or will he be leavening me after the warning. The bond tune start in background! (It’s such a suspense) I am scared! I shout out loud and wake up to the dream with my mobile alarm ringing to the tune of 007!!!

An Atheist

“I’m an atheist and I thank God for it.”
–George Bernard Shaw

I have always been an Atheist. Some examples to prove that I am a non-believer!
I did my schooling from Dehradun, a total of 7 years at the place. It’s a small town in the backdrops of Himalaya. For those who are yet to know why I mentioned doon (Dehradun) is because it was just 2 hours drive from this place to reach Haridwar. (Better read about it at the link than for me to type it out). Those 7 years of Doon took me to loads of place other than the famous Haridwar and Har ki paudi. It was not because I never got a chance to go but I never wanted to go!

Some people who know me call me an atheist by action and not by heart. May be because some times I do go to temple. When I am happy I say a silent prayer to thank the all mighty. When I am sad I pray for the betterment of my life. When I start a journey I pray for a safe journey! When a coin drops from my hand I pick it up and put it on my head. I some times recite those slakes which my mom and teacher made me remember when I was a kid. Or because I carry a copy of hanuman chalisha in wallet.

The sole reason, which makes me an atheist (By heart) is, the violence in the name of religion. The riots because of caste difference.
When I talk about this I am not talking about just India or any other country in particular. It’s the same in whole of the world. For e.g. the whole of Muslim community is divided between shiya and Sunnis. Saddam Hessian wasn’t known as the cruelest dictator of his time if he loved Sunnis. Hindus are broken into so many forms that it is really hard to distinguish who is who in Hindu community. The Christianity itself is broken into Catholics and Protestants.

Ahh such a long lecture. Here is Dirty adult joke for this entire lecture,

My neighbor uncle, who is 48, fell into a mud pond!!

The Egoistic Clash

The clash was not the thing I wanted to happen to me. The last thing I wanted to happen to me was a fight. The exchange of words took place at the most common place of the house. If you are thinking about bedroom, drawing room or dining room than you are absolutely wrong. It was the kitchen of the apartment I share with one of my colleague. The time was the black hour of the night when the sun has gone down and the moon has just started to climb. I had finished my dinner and was at the sink cleaning up the dirty utensils. For those who don’t know, I have to clean up all the dirty utensils of the house including the one in which the food was prepared. Cleaning being my daily routine so I used to do the cleaning with closed eyes. But on this day I had to open my eyes when my hand found something I was not accustomed of cleaning.

It was a coffee mug, which belonged to me but was being used by my roomy (My roomy had to clean his own utensils). He used to die (or is it dye) his hairs. The cup was dirty. Which made my blood boil and I thundered into his room and bellowed. Why the F#&K is this dirty cup with my utensils. He must have thought about the reply. He gave a flat and dry reply ” I had washed it I don’t know how come its dirty!!” this made me really angry and I said stop using my cup. He being another egoistic said, “I won’t be using anything than belongs to you” Hmmmmmmmm and the very next day he was off to buy himself the utensils for himself.

Now the question is who is wrong. Was it me or the moment when I asked him!!!