Poet in Me

I have been seeing loads of bloggers writings poems in their blog. I am avid fan of stories for the simple reason because they are not abstract. On the other hands poems can be more abstract than a talk on spirituality. Readers please don’t mind I am not here to make any comment on either of them or start a war of words between the followers of both worlds. They both are beautiful.

As told above I like stories but after seeing so many people writing more and more of poem I am getting inclined towards the other form of the writing. So here I present my attempt at poem writing.

I am a developer.

Working on a computer,
From January to December,
Using code debugger,
I am a developer,

Staying late at night,
With time is my fight,
Running a bug fixer,
I am a developer,

Its March and October,
Time to meet my appraiser,
Working harder and faster,
I am a developer,

Eating pizza,
Drinking Cola,
Becoming fatter,
I am a developer,

Learning Unix and java,
With all the flavor,
Forgotten how is mother and father,
I am a developer.

Lost the love for life,
Who is to ascribe,
Work or worker,
I am a developer.

Men.. Why are they like this

(Its one of the forwards i got so sharing with you guys.)
NOTE :- I am neck deep in shit. Its Appraisal Time. hope you guys will understand!!

Some Good Humor…Enjoy it in a Good Taste and Plz Dont Mind 😀
Dedicated to the Men………… and the women who keep talking things………..

WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?

It’s a testosterone thing. we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average lifespan of a male is typically 10 years shorter? (and it’s not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure.) Hormone modifies behavior. We’re just misunderstood.

WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?

Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I’m fairly certain it’s some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

WHY CAN’T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?

Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we’re experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel.

Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?

We like to. It’s actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.

WHY ARE MEN SO INCOMMUNICATIVE?

You’d learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.

WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?

Well, we don’t actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It’s the old fashioned pride in a job well done that’s missing in so much of the world nowadays.

WHY CAN’T MEN CUDDLE MORE (i.e. lie down and hug)?

Please… How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the heck (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men… Men hunters… Need go roam… Starve in cave… Must go find wildebeest… me Tarzan …… you Jane…..

Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.

HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?

Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etcetera. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.

WHY CAN’T MEN JUST SAY “I LOVE YOU?”

Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It’s not easy to admit to one’s own character faults.

WHY DO MEN SAY “I LOVE YOU” WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?

Ho, Ho, Ho… Aren’t you special? Well, some men think it’s a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN MEN SAY “I LOVE YOU?”

1 Please sleep with me.

2 I’m sorry for whatever it is that I did.

3 I forgot to get you a gift; this will have to do.

4 Huh ? I’m sorry; I wasn’t listening.

5 What did I forget? This should buy me a little time.

6 Stop nagging me.

7 What do I have to do to get a beer around here?

WHY DOESN’T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?

We just simply don’t have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.

WHY WON’T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?

Why should we? It doesn’t really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you’ll pick it up.

WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?

It’s an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? err… Buying?

WHY DO MEN FIND BLONDE BIMBOS ATTRACTIVE?

Are you kidding? Even leaving the physical aside, blonde bimbos are generally much easier to get along (alone) with. They like having fun and doing exciting things. They don’t walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. They don’t ever give us a hard time for being a dumb male; and plus they laugh at most of our jokes ( even the ones they don’t get .)

What more could any of us males ask for?

WHY DO MEN ACT LIKE THEY OWN THE REMOTE CONTROL?

What do you mean act? We do; possession is nine tenths of the law. Besides, it is an awesome responsibility not to be entrusted to just anyone. I believe the only fair way to decide who gets the remote control is to arm wrestle for it.

WHY CAN’T MEN STAY ON A SINGLE CHANNEL FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS?

Are you kidding? What if there is something good on the next channel? We could miss it if we stay on one channel for too long. (See also: Why do men fear commitment?)

WHY DO MEN FEAR COMMITMENT?

Don’t be so surprised. Yes; most of us do know what ‘commitment’ means and can spell it correctly. It’s like an automobile. No matter how good you think this year’s model is, they’re always coming out with newer, faster, better, sleeker, and sexier models. We simply cannot be expected to purchase the first one we see. We must browse around a bit and test drive a few. Who wants to end up with a lemon? At least with a car, there’s a slight chance of it eventually becoming a classic. It simply makes much more sense to lease and upgrade to the younger… err… I mean newer models every couple of years. Some of them come with fun extras like dual air bags.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN MEN SAY, “I’M JUST NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW” OR “I DON’T WANT A GIRL FRIEND?”

It means that we like you enough to sleep with you, but not enough so that we want to see you repeatedly.

WHY DO MEN GENERALLY HAVE GREATER LOWER BODY STRENGTH?

Several factors are at work, namely evolution, heredity, nutrition, and environment.

WHY ARE MEN SO OBSESSED WITH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN?

As opposed to what? Really ugly women? Face it, if men were obsessed with ugly women, there would be just as much bitching about why men are so obsessed with ugly women. No matter how you set this up, some people are always going to be left out. I don’t see anyone screaming about equal treatment for the stupid people either.

Tats the way we are………… tats the way we will be………….

I am a girl (Final Part)…

BKP – That’s so cool.
Ank – What? It’s cool? My dad is sick and my mom is leaving me and you say its cool. So mean. I never knew guys could be so insensitive.

Confused?? Read Part one and Part Two to know more

BKP – Actually I meant its cool for your dad that there is some one is coming to take care of him. BTW I am always there to take care of him.

They know each other for just 5 days and Mr. BKP is head over heels to do anything for miss Ankita. I am sure miss Ank would have been really flattered by this comment.

Ank – Thanks for the concern BKP, but one of my friend will stay with me and there I have got a cousin in the town to take care of me. BTW you had viral? Its you, who need care more than me.

BKP – when is you mummy coming back?
Ank – Most probably she will be back by Monday.
BKP – That’s great.
Ank – what’s great in it. I will be alone for two days. BTW talk to you later. I am helping mom in packing.
BKP – Ok. Bye. Talk to you after your aunty leaves.

The same night.

BKP – Hi had your dinner.
Ank – ya, Just now with mummy.
BKP – ok. So mummy left?
Ank – Yes. I am already missing her.
BKP – Don’t worry I am there na. (Read: Main Hoon Na!)
Ank – Thanks. Good night. I am in no mood to talk.

Saturday.

BKP – Hey. Good morning.
Ank – Morning. How are you?
BKP – I am good. What about you?
Ank- bad. I have got special classes. (Remember Ank is doing Dental.)
BKP – Ok talk to you after classes.

Saturday went just like that.

Sunday. The big day for MR BKP cos today Ankita will meet her.

Ank – Hello. How are you?
BKP – I am good. So what’s you plans for the day.
Ank – going to End Point with friends. (For unknown end point is a small hill just on the outskirts of manipal. Where you can find couples having a gala time 😉 ;))
BKP – Good. Enjoy your day.
Ank – wanna come?
BKP – Nah. Meet you after you come back.
Ank – Ok.
BKP – bye.

BKP went to Big Bazaar to do some shopping including a new t-shirt worth rupees 149 is bought.

Time Evening 6’ Clock.
BKP – Hey good evening.
Ank – hello.
BKP – How was the day.
Ank – good. Had loads of fun. Now getting hungry. (Hinting BKP to take her out)
BKP – hey me to hungry. Why don’t we meet for dinner?
Ank – Great idea. See you @ 7:30
BKP – but where?
Ank – you tell.
BKP – I don’t know manipal. You tell me.
Ank – lets meet at Valley View. (Valley View is a 3 star hotel run by Welcome Group and the best in the town)
BKP – Ok. See you at 7:30
Ank – hey one of my friend will be coming with me. I hope you don’t mind.
BKP – no no it’s ok. Meet you at Valley view (VV). Where is VV?
Ank – Its near TC (Tiger circle). Ask any one. Or just ask your Auto guy to take you to VV.
BKP – But how will I recognize you.
Ank – I will be wearing a pink top and Jeans. Same for my friend. (The most common dress for a gal)
BKP – ok than see ya @ 7.30

Evening 7.30.
BKP – Hey me at VV. Where are you?
Ank – I am at my place. I will be late.
BKP – ok.
Ank – do one thing. Go and book a table for 3 of us. See you in ten minutes,
BKP – ok. I have already done that.

After 10 minutes.
Ank – hey I can’t come. My friend is not feeling well
BKP – why what happened?
Ank – Don’t know is getting dizzy and stuff. May be sunstroke.
BKP – ok than you come alone.
Ank – ok. You order something I will in ten minutes.
BKP – ok.

After 20 more minutes.
Ank – hey can’t come.
BKP – what happened?
Ank – my cousin has come home. My friend called him.
BKP – what?
Ank – I am so sorry. May be we will some other time. I am sorry.

BKP has kept all these info secret from all of roomies. He never told us what was the T-shirt for or why was for Manipal suddenly at 7:30.

But he never expected a welcome at home just to find Ankita AKA Santa waiting for him. He had a dinner at the one of the best hotel in the town. I hope this lesson teaches MR. BKP not to run after Gals.

For those who are curious Mr. BKP had a heavy heart and lighter wallet after the incident.

If any one wants the original transcript please excuse me, this was one the most horrible English-speaking guy I have ever seen.

After effects. My telephone bill has gone double due to this silly message session. By luck Mr. BKP has a free SMS facility.

I am a girl (Part II)…

This time the sender softens a bit and replies “ Oh! I am sorry to disturb your sleep. Hello I am Ankita”

Unable to make head or tail of the above line? Read the previous post here..

Mr. BKP thought this couldn’t be a gal. If the other person had been a gal she wouldn’t have told me her name so easily. So he shot another message.

BKP – I don’t think you are a gal. Please tell me who is this.
Ank – (Furiously). Hey mister who ever are you. Mind your tongue. If you cant respect a girl than don’t talk.

Mr. BKP thought wow; it’s my lucky day, a new week and new gal in tow. Lets try to impress her.

BKP – Hello, I am BKP. I am sorry. I thought its one of my friends playing prank. How you got my number?
Ank. – Hello BKP. I sent that message by mistake to you. It was for my friend.
BKP – Oh. That’s ok. Tell me what do you do?
Ank – I am doing my final year BDS from CODS (College of Dental Science), manipal. I am basically from kolar.
BKP – you are from manipal? I am also at manipal. I am from Bangalore but I am presently working here.
Ank – Don’t lie a guy from Bangalore will come down to work in such a small place no way.

(She also shot a few lines of kannada to test if he actually from Bangalore)

BKP – Hey it doesn’t mean I am from Bangalore than I will know Kannada.
Ank – Don’t lie any respectful kannadigga will know Kannada. Tell me the truth.
BKP – I am from . I have done my engineering from Bangalore.
Ank – Ok. So you are an engineer? That’s good. Are there any engineering companies around this place?
BKP – yes. There is a software company called
(Sorry. Company policies can’t name my company). It’s in Udupi. I work there.
Ank – so you are a software engineer. That’s good. My brother is in Intel, Bangalore.
BKP – No I am not a software engineer. I am a Quality Control Engineer. Actually, my brother is a PL in Honeywell, Bangalore (Another of his brother has come up) but I got placed through campus so had to come here.
Ank – Than jump to your bro’s company now.
BKP – I can’t cos I am a fresher. I joined this July only.
Ank – Ok. Bye. Class time.

The same day afternoon.

BKP – Good afternoon, Madam. Had your lunch?
Ank – No I will go now. Hey you just a testing engineer. I just talked to my brother and he told me quality control is nothing. And most of companies take freshers as trainee. How come you are promoted so fast?
BKP – It must be my capability that I have promoted.
Ank – I am impressed.
BKP – can you have lunch with me?
Ank – but you are in the company and manipal too far away from there.
BKP – No. I am at home. Today I have taken sick leave.
Ank – Why what happened?
BKP – Fever.
Ank – Than why don’t you take rest. We will have lunch some other day. Bye!!

The next day evening.

BKP – Hello. How are you?
Ank – I am fine. I should ask you this, How are you? Have you met any doctor?
BKP – I am down with viral fever.
Ank – than take rest and don’t forget to take medicine.
BKP – Thanks for being my friend, my only friend.
Ank – only friend? You don’t have friends? I mean People in the company.
BKP – they are there. But we just work in the company. There is no fun part involved.
Ank – what about your roommates?
BKP – They are my seniors. They treat me like a kid.

For most of you guys info. Mr. BKP is no kid and is never treated like kid.

Ank – oh that’s good. You have some one to look after you.
BKP – ya that’s there but than there is no friend na.
Ank – hey mummy came talk to you later.

The same night. After having a heavy dinner of 10 parota and half plate rice Mr. BKP messages.

BKP – hello. Had your dinner?
Ans – No. Mummy is preparing. I will have after that. What about you?
BKP – I told you na. My seniors treat me like a kid. They have brought me Milk and bread to have for dinner.
Ans – Oh that’s good. They are taking care of you.

On Friday anikta tells BKP that her mummy going back to native because her father is not keeping well.

What happened next read in next episode.

I am a girl…

This article includes few unknown characters and a prominent character known as BKP (name withheld without request). Incidentally this guy is also from Bihar and he is my flat mate.

Before we start the story a little bit of background about BKP. It will help you understand the article better. BKP is an electronics engineer, 2007 batch. He joined my company as a Trainee Control engineer (Trainee Tester, for technical personals). Two of his habit, which makes him different from other, is ?
1. Loves to boast about stuffs, which is indigestible. (For e.g. – He has a brother in USA working in some MNC, one studying in Harvard and don’t know how many more. Seems his father had just work after his marriage)

2. He loves girls. It’s not that boys love gals but he loves anything called a gal.

Now the story, It was a lonely Sunday night. Most us were went to the bed early because we knew what was in the store for us the very next day. It was Monday the worst day of the week. If you don’t know why it’s the worst day (Start working you moron). Our dear Mr. BKP as usual was chatting with something called a gal. It must be his good day ‘cos some one from an unknown messaged him. He shot back “who is this.” The person on the other side preferred to stay silent. And it’s the night end.

Next morning curiosity had the better of Mr. BKP and he sends another text
“Who is this?”

Pat comes a hostile reply, “ Robot, age -199 location – Dry River, Mars. Stop disturbing me you little earthling.”

Mr. BKP who learnt not to lose his confidence during such encounters sends another text, “Hey you its you who disturbed my sleep last night. So now tell me who are you and what on the sleeps name you sent me a good night message”

This time the sender softens a bit and replies “ Oh! I am sorry to disturb your sleep. Hello I am ………”

    To be continued…

For those who are cursing me please go and curse honeybee. I learned This trait from her.