Tag: Chit Chat

The Week of forwards!!

I thought its better to write a post than to tell people of my old silly soul which was tortured to life and the reason for so many forwards as a post instead of original post.

I was planning to write the whole thing in chronological order but it better if I narrate the story.

The day was the same as usual and the night was not. I was sitting in cubicle listening to don’t remember who it was (does it matter). Suddenly the call came on my intercom. A girl’s voice on the other hand speaks…

Voice – Santosh?
Me – Yes?
Voice – Hi!
Me – Hi!
Voice – We are waiting for you.
Me – Waiting?
Voice – Yes. You forgot?
Me – (Confused) I think so.
Voice – Come on you cant delay us anymore. It’s really important.
Me – than who is stopping you.
Voice – You!
Me – (Still confused) Me? How?
Voice –By not coming??
Me – (Am I so important in this company?) For what?
Voice – This is your HR and we are waiting for your appraisal meeting.

This conversation happened some 4 months back. And from that day till today I am yet to find out the true meaning of a meeting.

For the Higher Management – I am getting bored lets call a meeting and talk to some people. (Here they talk and rest listen)

For HR – We need to terminate this guy so call a meeting and let him know in a dramatic situation

For PM/PL – Hmm This guy is not working call a meeting and assign him so much job so that he will have to work 18 hours a day and 7 days a week!

All of them together – A time pass meeting to discus some silly issue.

A committee meeting – No work just talk.

For an employee like me – Buddy you are screwed!

The same thing happened to me a few weeks back. I was called for a meeting and told to work more and browse the net less. In past I used to work for a horrifying 8-10, nah not hours, Minutes each day. But now I am working bit more. The amount of work involves 4 hours of meeting, 3 hours of discussion, 1 hour of tea break, 30 minutes of lunch and mind boggling 30 minutes of works. I am presently busy in most of these meeting! So guys you may be seeing a lots of forwards than actual blog entries.

Worried Boss

Another Forward!! I loved the ending. much like the jeff archers endings!!

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employers home phone number and was greeted with a Child’s’ whisper.

“Hello”

“Is your daddy home?” he asked

“Yes” whispered the small voice

“May I talk with him?”

“No”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mummy there?”

“Yes”

“May I talk with her?”

Again the small voice whispered, “No”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
Asked, “Is anybody else there?”

“Yes, whispered the boy, “a policeman”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked,
“May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child

“Busy doing what?”

Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman”, came the answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter, through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What’s that noise?”

“A helicopter” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?!”, demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the helicopter.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?!!.”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle…

“ME”

Back with a bang!!

Yes I am back to my office and everyone knows that I am back. I know I am really famous @ my office. But people knew much faster this time when I arrived to office.
Just like in the olden when the kings arrived there used to be a announcement of their arrival same happened with me. The only difference was there used to be a call and here it was loud bang (read sneeze) before I entered my cubicle. My PM dropped his laptop and one of colleague a bottle of water on his system.

You all must be thinking sneeze?? WTF how come one sneeze can do so much good. Well you will believe after you have been to Bangalore for a week end.

Here is the small follow up of my Bangalore trip!

Friday:
Reached Bangalore. Called my friends to be at home by 8 PM (Read older post for more details on 8 PM). Went to college to get my final year marks card. Yes I took my marks card after one of passing the engineering exam!!

That day I just roamed the street of good old Bangalore. Than night came and here I was at my friend’s house.
It’s a story of 7 warrior and 3 Battalion.
There were 7 warriors against 3 battalion (Bottle) of two different kings (Brands). Two sent by the King Royal Stag and One by Duke of Romanov. But the warriors were not to fall back. They will die but wont say no. The warrior went out to win the fight. It was a win-lose situation. The chance of a truce was out of question. “The battle of 7 friends” saw more of fight than they had ever fought in their entire life. Two of the fighter was there to protect the rest of the fighters from dieing in the mid war against the ruthless king. They war started at the unholy hour of 8 PM+1 PM. There was a loud roar of CHEERS and off went the fighter in their shiny armour (Most were just in Shorts). Fighters wanted to register the maximum kill for themselves. The first battalion to face the fighters were of Duke Romanaov. The fight went on for mere 30 minutes before the 7 warriors bulldozed the battalion. The war has taken an intresting turn by now. The warriors were now hungry for more blood (Booze) and than came the Royal Stag. It was finished in just 30 minutes flat. Two protectors took the defensive place where as the rest 5 went out to finish off the last wave of opponents. It was mid way of the final battalion when of the warrior was seriously hurt and was taken to ECU (loo). Soon the warriors seem to loosing ground. 2 more warriors succumbed to the attacking force. The last two warriors took the battle in their hand and fought bravely killing the army at the source it self (Drinking Directly from the bottle).

The next morning the victorious warriors returned home just to find so much filth after the war. They all vowed never to fight again in life.

Saturday:
Slept most of the day due to hangover and weakness( due to puking). Met some more friends over coffee. Was drenched in the rain by the time I was back.

Sunday:
Went down to meet my uncle, return back to Udupi.

Monday:

Back at Udupi with lots of things including cough, cold, blocked nose, body ache, slight temperature and aching throat. I am having actified Plus (For cold and cough) and strepsils for my sore throat.

Hope I get well soon ?

The Computer and Me!!!

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it…
-Unknown

Today I had a fight with my colleague. The reason was the same thing, which we both dare. Nah its not computer (BTW its also in list but its too high up.) It’s a computer crash. It so happened my colleague, and me were fighting for the system that is common to both of us. (We are in the same project) It was a really important work, and I had to do it as soon as possible. But he (add some choicest abuse yourself) won’t allow me. The work was to beat the time record he had made into the new racing game installed into the system And we had a fight over it he had the mouse and I took the keyboard and started pulling and pushing each other for the utmost supremacy. I was about to hit him with the keyboard suddenly we heard a loud noise. He was dead before he knew. The CD-rom stopped working so do the cabinet with all its inhabitants.

It was just another example when a hard disk crash has left me middle of nothing. And I am happy. Arey ab kaam to tabhi suru hoga na jab hard wapas milega!!! ? Till than happy blogging and chatting. (Cant add orkuting as its blocked 🙁 )

Special High Interest Training

Few days back the following message was sent all to all the employees of a company. The message was for all the employees. Especially those who are not on the senior posts.

In order to assure the highest level of quality work and productivity from all our employees it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel you are not receiving your fair share if S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed on the top of the list, and they are especially skilled to seeing that you all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don’t take their share of S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since our senior team took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

P.S. If you have any question please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Yours,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

(Do let me know if you are working for this company!!)