Recession Effect

I got this as a forward. Its really great kudos to the mind. Want similar laugh see this post too.

Dear Staff,

Due to the current financial situation caused by worldwide slowdown of economy since end of 2007, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 30 plus years of age on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retiring Appropriate People Early). People selected for RAPE can also apply to management for eligibility in SHAFT scheme (Special Help, After Forced Termination). People who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Systematic Coursing Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

People who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously people who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by management.

People left and staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives to its employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you may require and handle.

Yours Sincerely,

The Management

Dil-e-nadan

For those who have read/heard this sher umpteenth time

      Dil-e-nadan tujhe hua kya hai
     aakhir is dard ki dawa kya hai
Than let me present you the rest of the Gazal and meaning (Hopefully correct :) )
    Dil-e-nadan tujhe hua kya hai
     akhir is dard ki dawa kya hai
O Stupid Heart what has happened to you. What’s the medicine for this pain


     
hamko unse wafa ki hai ummeed
      jo nahen jaante wafa kya hai
I have hope for love from the person don’t know what is love.
      Dil-e-nadan tujhe hua kya hai
      akhir is dard ki dawa kya hai
O Stupid Heart what has happened to you. What’s the medicine for this pain
      ham hain mushtaaq aur woh bezaar
      ya ilaahee! yeh maajra kya hai
I am interested and they are displeasd, O lord what is this story
    jab ki tujh bin nahen koi maujood
      fir ye hangama, ‘ei Khuda! kya hai
There is no one except you, then why is this commotion my god.

      jaan tum par nisar karta hoon
      main nahi janata duaa kya hai
I will give my life for you. ‘Cos I don’t know what is a prayer.

This is to formally announce that I have bought a MP4 Player. At last. The Google(yeah i call search and google in the same breath) was on for last 2 years for a durable yet cost efficient. I planned to buy one of the guys from Transcend stable or SanDisk. But after reading the reviews the sounded like more of a mediocre than a full fledged or great PMP. Then I went for the guys who revolutionized the product Apple Computers. But they were too costly. So the last option was to choose a product which was cost effective yet great. Thus came 3 players Phillips, Samsung and Creative. Out of which Samsung is not available in India. I was searching for a minimum of 2 GB video capable PMP. But when I saw the Creative Zen 4 GB it was much better than the others. Some of the online reviews said its just a little below the famed iPod Nano. So I went ahead and bought from the product from http://ebay.in. Though I am yet to get the product in my hands hope that the product is as good as the reviews say. To be on the safer side I have even bought a pair of Creative Ep-630 earphones to go with the product.

The song above is one of the songs I am planning to listen . Thus this post. :)

Infidelity

This is topic i was thinking to write for some time. but as the things were i wasnt able to do so. My first question was what is infidelity? as per the http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/infidelity

Noun

infidelity (plural infidelities)

  1. unfaithfulness in marriage or other moral obligation
  2. lack of religious belief
but what i believe is that its the unfaithfulness in any obligation. It may be the a employee leaving the employer, or a lover dumping (cheating included) his/her partner. Some times its that the people recognize that they have been cheated and sometimes they remain in the delusion of that they have done some mistake and are still reaping the fruits of the same. Where as the infidel is gone!!! and guys its not you or the gals its not you its the same in both the case. the only thing that remains is little pain and loads of memories.
Why i am talking infidelity so much? Its for the simple reason that i have seen one movie and read one novel full of same. (Though there are more profound things behind this blog)
First the Movie. A movie which was on friendship, music, love and the diffrences. A diffrent yet common story. A story about four friends, thier ex-girlfriends, present wife, jobs, making ends meet and MUSIC. I am talkign about rock-on. A movie from the maker of Dil Chahta hai and a story which reminds you of the movie. Four charcter living life diffently fight over and reunite to show the world they are the best. But i wish to know why did they fight at the first place? Wasnt the root cause of the fight Infidelity. what ever that may be but if you start scrutinise a movie you will find more flaws than good. I liked the movie though it was a bit slow at some point. but over alla watchable movie.
The second is a book from one of the indian authors. It seems that indian authors are trying really hard to make a mark on the international arena and failing in doing so. Thoug some of the authors actually done it but there are very few who are able to cross that line. This author i am talking about is Advaitha Kala and her first book “Almost Single.” The book it self is filled with infidelity in true sense. Huband betraying wifes. lovers betraying each other. Its a novel writen with first person perspective and the speaker tell how the life is bitch and they are still single. over all a good read no life changing fundas, simple story and sometimes funny.

Post with a pre

Hmmmm. SO what is this post all about. Preparing for a post? Or posting something that was already there? or post about something which has already happend to me. Non of the above its about the war between post and pre. Something like “To Bill or not To bill, is the question?” still confused??? this is all about the so called the mobile usage system. Either of the prepaid or postpaid. After a stint of 2 years with post paid i am shifting back to pre paid. And the reason is not the ever mounting bills or low credit limit (I have a credit limit of 12,400). The reason is very simple. There is no use in taking a post paid conenction when the prepaid offers are much better and cheaper. The guys at Airtel were asking 99 bucks for all india STD @ Rs1 for my post paid and same is given for prepaid guys @ Rs 31.

The reason of my previous transfer to Post paid was that the charges was less and the offer that they gave simply great. but after the price war started by airtel by reduing the call charges to Rs 1.50 its not much of zing left in the post paid offers.

Either the telecos have to wake up and update their post paid plans or there people will start moving towards the pre paid plans.

There is still a good idea for those who can spend some money. Goto any service provider and ask them that you wish to have a post paid connection and get a really cool number. and than go ahead and switch to the prepaid. Great na?

BTW please let me know if you are prepaid or post paid user and do you really wish to switch to the other side of the payment mode?

Bearing with auto and telco’s

This post is another crib series which i felt is long due.. its about the two things which i hate the most. one of them is Autos of bangalore. The most irritating and frustrating guys we have to meet each day. They have the meters tempered, ask more extra fare and crib when we reach our destination. Just thing the autos opt to run empty but they will take you as a fare only if you will cough up the extortion money they ask. 

For e.g. the general auto fare to my office comes to 29rs from the point i generally board them. One i was running late so had to agree to paying “10 Rupees extra sir” and upon reaching office the meter was reading 45rs. and i had to pau 10 bucks extra. WTF. asking for extra money on tempred meter. 

The other who can make you feel the same way and don’t even come to face to face with you. They are the credit card to the medical insurance seller. Most of the time i come up with a new excuse. some of them are

  1. Just now i have filled the form
  2. I have applied yesterday
  3. I have your card
  4. I am HIV+ (To medical insurance)
  5. This is police he has committed suicide yesterday.
  6. I am in a meeting call me later
  7. Simply disconnect.
  8. I am jobless or student

There are few more i will add later