Dinsan takes revenge.

Long back  i had tagged dishan now he has tagged me back  to answer few(38  are not few) questions.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?
None I am having a bad throat ache due to tonsils.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Watching some sad serial on TV

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Checking mails and blogs.

4. What happened to you in 2006?
I joined the company I left recently.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
“Shit my throat hurts”

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Half a liter of milk.

7. What color is your hairbrush?
No hair, no hairbrush :)

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Mobile Bill!!

9. Where were you last night?
In my room sleeping!

10. What color is your front door?
Dark brown

11. Where do you keep your change?
In my trouser pocket. If it gets full than shift to any box. And then the box transferred to my mom. When I go home!!

12. What’s the weather like today?
Good!!

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
Chocolate

14. What excites you?
Many things. Including some naughty things!

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Not now. Had it a few days back!

16. Are you over the age of 25?
No :(

17. Do you talk a lot?
Please don’t ask me a question again, I won’t stop talking!!

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
What’s that?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Nah

20. Do you make up your own words?
Ya while playing scrabble :)

21. Are you a jealous person?
Yep, sometimes

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
Anshu (My roomie during my college days)

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Kanwar Singh

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
From top Jiju and From Bottom Dad :)

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Payment made using card from ICICI bank

26. Do you chew on your straw?
I chew on anything if I get bored

27. Do you have curly hair?
No

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Bangalore. (or the place from where ever I get job call)

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Ahh!! Many but they are for that particular time.

30. What was the last thing you ate?
Bread with Milk.

31. Will you get married in the future?
Surely in future. But don’t know when it will happen :(

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
I saw saawariya and I liked it :)

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
Ya! My mom dad (they never said a single thing even when I lost my job.)

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Today afternoon

35. Are you currently depressed?
Nah. Yah a bit thoughtful though

36. Did you cry today?
Nah. And what for?

37. Why did you answer and post this?
I was getting bored so came down and finished this post :)

38. Tag few people who would do this survey.
Bee Honey Bee, Chriz, PurpleHeart, VigneshHappy Kitten,

Men.. Why are they like this

(Its one of the forwards i got so sharing with you guys.)
NOTE :- I am neck deep in shit. Its Appraisal Time. hope you guys will understand!!

Some Good Humor…Enjoy it in a Good Taste and Plz Dont Mind 😀
Dedicated to the Men………… and the women who keep talking things………..

WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?

It’s a testosterone thing. we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average lifespan of a male is typically 10 years shorter? (and it’s not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure.) Hormone modifies behavior. We’re just misunderstood.

WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?

Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I’m fairly certain it’s some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

WHY CAN’T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?

Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we’re experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel.

Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?

We like to. It’s actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.

WHY ARE MEN SO INCOMMUNICATIVE?

You’d learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.

WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?

Well, we don’t actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It’s the old fashioned pride in a job well done that’s missing in so much of the world nowadays.

WHY CAN’T MEN CUDDLE MORE (i.e. lie down and hug)?

Please… How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the heck (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men… Men hunters… Need go roam… Starve in cave… Must go find wildebeest… me Tarzan …… you Jane…..

Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.

HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?

Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etcetera. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.

WHY CAN’T MEN JUST SAY “I LOVE YOU?”

Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It’s not easy to admit to one’s own character faults.

WHY DO MEN SAY “I LOVE YOU” WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?

Ho, Ho, Ho… Aren’t you special? Well, some men think it’s a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN MEN SAY “I LOVE YOU?”

1 Please sleep with me.

2 I’m sorry for whatever it is that I did.

3 I forgot to get you a gift; this will have to do.

4 Huh ? I’m sorry; I wasn’t listening.

5 What did I forget? This should buy me a little time.

6 Stop nagging me.

7 What do I have to do to get a beer around here?

WHY DOESN’T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?

We just simply don’t have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.

WHY WON’T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?

Why should we? It doesn’t really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you’ll pick it up.

WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?

It’s an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? err… Buying?

WHY DO MEN FIND BLONDE BIMBOS ATTRACTIVE?

Are you kidding? Even leaving the physical aside, blonde bimbos are generally much easier to get along (alone) with. They like having fun and doing exciting things. They don’t walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. They don’t ever give us a hard time for being a dumb male; and plus they laugh at most of our jokes ( even the ones they don’t get .)

What more could any of us males ask for?

WHY DO MEN ACT LIKE THEY OWN THE REMOTE CONTROL?

What do you mean act? We do; possession is nine tenths of the law. Besides, it is an awesome responsibility not to be entrusted to just anyone. I believe the only fair way to decide who gets the remote control is to arm wrestle for it.

WHY CAN’T MEN STAY ON A SINGLE CHANNEL FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS?

Are you kidding? What if there is something good on the next channel? We could miss it if we stay on one channel for too long. (See also: Why do men fear commitment?)

WHY DO MEN FEAR COMMITMENT?

Don’t be so surprised. Yes; most of us do know what ‘commitment’ means and can spell it correctly. It’s like an automobile. No matter how good you think this year’s model is, they’re always coming out with newer, faster, better, sleeker, and sexier models. We simply cannot be expected to purchase the first one we see. We must browse around a bit and test drive a few. Who wants to end up with a lemon? At least with a car, there’s a slight chance of it eventually becoming a classic. It simply makes much more sense to lease and upgrade to the younger… err… I mean newer models every couple of years. Some of them come with fun extras like dual air bags.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN MEN SAY, “I’M JUST NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW” OR “I DON’T WANT A GIRL FRIEND?”

It means that we like you enough to sleep with you, but not enough so that we want to see you repeatedly.

WHY DO MEN GENERALLY HAVE GREATER LOWER BODY STRENGTH?

Several factors are at work, namely evolution, heredity, nutrition, and environment.

WHY ARE MEN SO OBSESSED WITH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN?

As opposed to what? Really ugly women? Face it, if men were obsessed with ugly women, there would be just as much bitching about why men are so obsessed with ugly women. No matter how you set this up, some people are always going to be left out. I don’t see anyone screaming about equal treatment for the stupid people either.

Tats the way we are………… tats the way we will be………….

The Crying Me.

Yesterday I was crying. Out side it was rain and inside it was me. No its not because that I have a bad news to give or anything but. I had to see all those senti movies where the mother or father is dieing and the son is not there or where the hero and heroine meet after a Vanvas (Separation) of 22 years. Its all those heart touching movie that made me cry a lot. May be guys don’t cry in front of ladies but when it to filling up the buckets we are no less than the gals themselves. The other reason of my crying was that I have to leave the flat I am staying in and have to shift to a new location. Its not that I am in love with this place or the inmates of this but shifting to a new place is always a headache.

Crying reminds me of the last time I cried infront of loads of people was on 17th may 2006, my sister’s wedding. The very next day the sensex crashed more than 500 points. Ahem Ahem.

Wedding reminded me of the last post on wedding and how various people think about it!! Before I start let me wish luck to chriz for he is the next one trying to find the meaning of wife and marriage.. Best of Luck Buddy!!

For those who are thinking let him marry than we will write something silly, than wait on guys for my marriage is not in the books for a few years. My dear elder bro has joined a MBA college this year. That will take him 2 years to complete (being bit optimistic). After that it will be 2 more years before he gets married. Than comes my number. So its minimum 4-5 years before I will be married off. (Hoping that I don’t go to do MBA). So guys see ya after 5 years on my marriage. Its an open invitation.

Marriage

Few days back some of my class mates got married. Some were from my school days some from college days. I felt what is this marriage all about. Let me bring you different perspective of different people towards this institution.

Ladies first!!

They are the biggest reason why we have got marriage in this society.
When they are 4 they will marry off their Barbie with Ken.
By 10 they are ready to marry any guys who will share his lunch box with her.
By 18 they know all about marriage, kids and how to make them!! They have 1 boy friend who is dumb enough to spend all his pocket money for nothing.
By 24 they have seen and done it all and now have a dull husband and a crying baby in tow.

We guys!!

We are the ones who wish there was no marriage at all.
At the age of 4 we are trying to figure out how not to get caught in the pants zipper.
By 10 we come to know what is marriage. You know we are full 6 years late when it comes to know about marriage.
By 18 we know what is a girl and how she should be treated. We still believe a child is born when people exchange garlands.
By 24 – till death. We are still trying to demystify marriage and women. We have a pocket but no money!

A cute little child!!

They always think “kash main waha hota”. (Wish I was there!)
For them marriage is loads of people. New cloth, loads of kids to play with. And yes lots of ice cream.

Wives!!

They are better half of this element called marriage.
They try whole of their life to make the other half better by the means better known to them.
They believe that marriage is an institution where she is a lecturer to its only student who has lost his bachelor degree. It’s her job to make the student sit or stand and tell how many times to do the homework and how!( 😉 )

Husband!!

They are the other half (Remember better half) and most of them are rotten.
They try their whole life to balance between friend and wife.
They are made to believe one can have headaches 364 days a year. (Except her birthday if you don’t forget it)

P.S. -> This post was written in a happy mood by a BACHELOR. So please don’t get angry on anything written here!! and if you dont agree to anything said about your group than remember exception are always there

Girls and Me!!

This post is about ladies, who came into my life.

Let me start from the very beginning. When I was no more than a maggot. Yes! the nursery school. I had more GF than today’s bollywood hunks. Who won’t fall for a cute, chubby, innocent smiling kid? The list of ladies included the cute class teacher, the pretty little things and their moms. Man those were the days. I have forgotten the count of kisses I got from those. But with loves comes hate and there were some who hated me for getting so much love from all the four corners. They were non other than the pet dogs that started missing those lovely kisses, those cuddling which were passed on to me.

Soon I grew up and so do my popularity. I was admitted to the best school in town and the popularity reached before the person. I was already a star. The gals were head over heels and the guys wanted my head for their heels. Who would have so much popularity in school? Whenever I passed in the corridor girls would scream “Oh! Santosh is going.” Than one day one of my friend said “Yaar! Its more than a month you last took bath, the stink is unbearable.” Any one can assume that my popularity among girls by the simple fact. On rakhi I was the one with the maximum number of rakhi tied. The last time I was in school I had more rakhi sisters than Girl Friends.

Then came the college and I was hit the fact “99% of the girls in colleges are beautiful the Rest 1% are in my college.” College life saw me loosing my popularity because of two facts.

1. No one saw me in college one week before and after Rakhi (Experience Counts)
2. My notebook was the cleanest. Except the first page where my name was written

And than I joined a software firm. Here I expected some really good-looking gals but luck was not on my side. With a ratio girls to boys of 1:10 I never had a chance.

P.S. 28th is rakhi and I have already taken 5 days leave. (Again experience counts). I hope some of the inexperienced one get eliminated on this day ?